VALUES EDUCATION:How to change your negative responses?

Have you ever had negative responses to your children at some time of you being a mom or a woman? 

When at times of difficultness like being stressed, getting into a hard situation, or suffering from a really deep pain and yet you still did negative responses to your children and suddenly you realize that you did was wrong? And you can't even hold it back the way you wanted and the way it should be retorted. That makes you upset, right?

I would like to share tips from the book '365 Ways to Help Your Children Grow' by Shella Ellison and Barbara Ann Barnett, Ph.D on what to do when you aren't happy on the way you reacted under a sudden unexpected situation.

1. Close your eyes and review the situation in your head, trying to see all the little details, onceyou have it clearly in your head, run the scene again, except this time change the way you act. Even though it is in your mine, it is a step toward being able to respond differently next time.

2. It is never too late to say you're sorry. A child will learn very much from this kind of modeling. You might say, " I had a very, hard day today and I am so sorry that I yelled the way I did, it had nothing to do with how you were acting. Do you forgive me?"

I hope these guides on 'how to change your negative responses would definitely helped us parents, moms, woman, and anyone on our daily lives to achieve a better and happier family we are building, foq a happy family would produce into a better individuals being responsible as each member grows in a society and become a good example for each one of us.

So, share us how did you had negative responses and how you had handled it on a well-behaved situation where you felt fine and satisfied? Feel free to share us your thoughts.

How to help your child grow healthier after Primary Koch’s?

Last March 2011, my younger son was hit by Primary Koch's and now after a more that a year he is better now and I would like to share on how to help your child grow healthier after Primary Koch’s?

As I reveal the story behind my son’s situation, being about 2 years old then and now going four by next month, I see the difference between then and now.

First Name Errors: A Serious Matter

Twenty-eight years of my life and of my existence and still my life hasn't move on into the life I was always dreaming of. Why? Because from the start of it, I wasn't even settled into the right way. Funny and dramatic but it's the reality. Yes, for some 'first name errors', on a serious matter, I still can't move on.

The Birth

I was born on February 21, 1984 with my parents' happiness  as my mom gave birth to a cute baby girl(love your own :)). With the excitement they had, together with the elders whom had they took advice on how to take good care of a child, they named me after my father's first name, Dionessa. Please don't gave any comment about it, I wasn't even giving any. :) I was left at the hospital for I had to be confined for the reason that I ate some of the wastes on my mother's womb. After a month, it was then I finally got home. But for the first three months, I wasn't enjoying my baby life for I was always getting sick.

The Life-changing Decision

Filipinos respect their elders and every opinion they gave really affects each family they get involved. So as one of the elders gave an advice to my parents whom are very young at their age at that moment, that the reason behind my sickness was I myself doesn't like the name they had gave me. Yes, I wasn't liking my name, as the elders said. How'd they know? We'll, maybe I wasn't really liking my name at all. Don't even mention it to my father. Anyways, I was baptized in the name of Mary Charmaine Ness Nioda and eventually after the 'baptism',  the sickness I was suffering faded away.

The' School' Stage

I wonder how I went to school with the conflict I had in my birth certificate. I haven't even realize how hard it is when the legal papers matter. Guess what? As of now, I am using Ma. Charmaine Ness Nioda, as you can see on myprofile here. I know, you feel like I'm riding on a roller coaster with different angles and heights. Wish you weren't like me.

Anyways, I did notice that I had a 'forge' birth certificate when I went to college and settle my own requirements by myself,  although, in my entire life I did know all about my name. But the university I attended to, haven't even questioned the certification I submitted to them. So I was thinking it was ok then.

The Realization

Along the college days, my friends and I decided for us to get a job at the same time. So, we look for jobs during the day for we  attended school during late times at the day, an evening students. So we went looking on fast food chains and given the requirements, I was stunned! One of the requirements should be NSO(National Statistics Office) authenticated birth certificate. Whew!!! That was it. I, having different names, wasn't getting the job I was looking for, mainly with the reason of conflict legal birth certificate.

That was one of the discouragement I had until some things did change my life. Have you had the feeling of not getting into somewhere you were dreaming of? That was what I feel until now.

I did look for jobs but jobs whom doesn't require any legal papers at all. What was the reciprocity? No benefits at all; Phil health, SSS, Pag-ibig etc. only with a much lesser salary that the law requires to. The worst was, I cannot even work abroad for we all know that there is much chance of a lightier life when you work abroad. A chance for you to get your dreams much closer than working here in the Philippines, as we all know, economy reality, but not degrading the government at all.

Lessons in Life

I'm not even blaming my parents for I understand that what they did was for my own sake but risking in reality. But how I really wish they haven't done this at all. Now, being a mom and a woman, I see to it that I am using the right thing to my children when in terms of their names. I rest assured that what's registered on the Civil Registry, the baptismal and the name they are using is not conflicting with each other. I am into this trouble, so I won't even wanted my children  or anyone get into this. I just hope the parents would really see to it and assured themselves the security to their children because my whole life change at all the moment my parents change my name.

The Solution

But it's not at all too late. :) I did research on the internet and do some work on going to the Civil Registry Office to do the homework. What I found out that it was really not too late for me to fix this trouble at all. What just made me discourage was the amount I should spend on to fix this. I heard that the processing fee is three thousand pesos plus the other requirements plus the two weeks publishing and the four to six months processing. See, it's even harder but at least there is this chance.

The Requirements

I went to the Civil Registry office one day to ask for the requirements for me to get fix my first name error. But the officer in-charge told me to present first my Certification of Live Birth. So what I did was I look for other sources and finally found out the requirements I should submit in terms of fixing my first name errors. What I found was:

RA 9048 (known as) correction of clerical error birth, marriage & death (CCE) and change of first name (CFN)

Requirements:

·         Certificate of Live Birth, Marriage & Death

·         Baptismal Certificate

·         Secondary & College Transcript of Records

·         Valid Identification Card

·         Police Clearance

·         NBI Clearance

·         Affidavit of Two Disinterested Person

That's it but here's the steps to be followed (the hard-long steps):

❶Receiving/Review of Petition

❷Payment of Fees(Treasury Office) -which I heard was P3,000

❸Preparation & Posting (10 days)

❹Publication of Petition ( 2 weeks)

❺Decision of CFN

❻Submission of Petition (NSO Manila)

❼Affirmation of Decision

❽Issuance of Finality

See? Reading these would let you imagine the money you should spend, the time you should spare, and the patience you should hold. So you realize the simplier way to fix your mind on your children's first name.

I should Do

My mother, whom I told the processes I should go, told me to get an advice from legal office on changing my first name error. She said that if following my live birth certificate name would spend a much lesser time, effort and money, then I should do follow it rather than changing it at all. I answered her, I would've get sick again. :) I just really love my name today.

Although, in reality, I just really don't know where to get the financial support for me  to fix things up, but I know at least I had the chance. I had started to gather the requirements I needed and all I hope was for me to fix my first name error for the better future ahead of me being a mom and a woman of today.

I am hoping to hear from you guys about how you had in a way involve for fixing first name errors and share it with us. :)

Mom's Birthday Today

Happy Birthday Mama!

Mama & Papa

Today's my mom's 52nd  birthday. We had started the day with a 'mananita' activity. In short, with a prayer lead by the four of the greatest and oldest leaders in our little community in church.

We were really happy about it. Everybody wish my mom to be happy. Yes. happy! Recently, a really hard trial had been through with us. Although we still working on it as a family. The family as of today is not really in a good situation but I know each one of us still continue to fight.

I'm just glad that my mom chooses us to be complete rather than choosing to fight with the battle alone. As they always say:

The family that prays together, stays together.

Happy birthday Mama. Thank you for almost 30 years of taking good care of us. Thank you for the unconditional love, and sorry for the misunderstandings we had. I know in that we continue to understand each other. I became a mom and that I owe to you. What I learned today, was for what you had thought us.Thank You and we love you so much.

Monster Questions...

Have you ever experienced being asked by your children with 'monster questions'? Yes, I called them as monster questions because just really don't know where I could find the answers or even deliver an answer on a way they would understand.

One day, I was working on my blog when my eldest son, Ares, asked me a question: ' Why does I don't have an H. in my name?' I figured out what is he talking about. And I understood that it was all about his middle name. Yes, he has no middle name and he carries my surname for the reason that he's father was not there to acknowledge his surname being carried by our son, in short an illegitimate child but not unwanted.

So, again I understood that I was asked again a 'monster question'. So, I hurriedly looked for a better, easy-to-understand answer. I told him that his father was not there physically to recognized him on his birth certificate and explaining it in a much broad and easy way. As I was looking at him, I saw a still unacceptable confused mind. I wonder if he really got my explanation, but he did stop asking again.

Whew! What a day! I wish those monster questions would never come again, but I know it wouldn't . For all we know that children as of today are really smarter and confused than we thought.

Have you ever asked monster questions by your kids?How did you deal with it. I would really appreciate to get a response from you guys being a mom and a woman.

Long Distance Relationships

Who says long distance relationships are easy to handle? I bet no one says.

I met people with the same struggles of mine for awhile. We shared thoughts and feelings we are coping up to. And sad to say we are in pain. Yes, we are.

But how we are coping up with it?

• Me, personally, I converted my pains into something I enjoyed, making my diary. This blog your reading is my personal diary. I tend to share what's inside me and what's great with it is that I am defusing negative energy into something profitable in a way.
• Finding something that really interest you like maybe hanging with friends, or even sharing thoughts on a social networking sites, or playing sports. What important is release negative aura from inside but into something results in good.

Because I've been into pain and what I did was rebelled so that they would give me the attention I looked for. But what's the result? Still negative. 

So what I strongly advise is to keep on holding tight, keep your faith, pray always and never lost hope. And the best thing, accept everything.

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Primary Complex: Disease Our Children Fights

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love.  

~Mildred B. Vermont

The reason behind all of my struggles to find home jobs instead of a regular job is that of my son's health concern. That's why I have to be a full-time and hands-on mom for him.

Late March 2011, my youngest son suffered from a repeated fever, cough and colds. So I decided to have a check up after a week(which was not right and having 2-3days of fever should see a doctor immediately). After physical check-up and lab test results, the doctor diagnosed bronco. With medications given like anti-bacterial and meds given for a week, and under observation but not yet admitted in the hospital. So, after a  week, nothing has changed and for a month, my son had taken three kinds of antibacterials, more dosage, much expensive.

So, we as parents, panicked and so much afraid asking what was really going on with him. He's getting thinner and loosing much more of his appetite. He doesn't play anymore and all he just do is lie on his bed. We consulted different pedia just for my son to get well. Imagine, a 2 yr.old boy suffering from an unknown disease.

The x-ray results states that he has water in lungs or in medical terms as pleural effusion. His pedia, Ma. Theresa A. Cruz,M.D. Pediatrician,DPPS recommends us to consult a pulmonary pedia whom is expert for of children's lungs. So, we decided to consult the experts in Philippine Children's Medical Center, located at Quezon Ave.,Quezon City. And finally, thanks to Dr. Carren-Anne P. Batalla,M.D. Pediatrics for the final conclusion( although with the help also of a lot of experts), my son having PCAP or Primary Koch's Infection simply known as Primary Complex/TB for children. Medications for 6 months was given and follow-up checks ups to be done for the next months.

As of now, my son has finished the race(6 months medication) and the last x-ray result was cleared. Yet the pedia says there is still a chance that the virus may attack if my son's infected again. I'll just have to take good extra care of my son.

Prevention for Primary Complex:

In much of the world, the only method available to prevent tuberculosis in children is administration of a bacille Calmett-Guérin (BCG) vaccine. The BCG vaccines have never been used in the United States and, currently, only one type is available that is difficult to administer and of dubious efficacy. When considering the total body of literature of BCG vaccination of children, the general conclusion is that the BCG vaccines prevent 60 to 90% of serious tuberculosis cases in children.^[107,108] Clearly, the BCG vaccines are better than no method of prevention, but they are not capable of completely preventing tuberculosis disease in a population of children. BCG vaccination has worked better in some situations than others. In the United States, the presence of HIV infection in the child is an absolute contraindication to giving BCG vaccine; internationally, the presence of asymptomatic HIV infection is not considered a contraindication to BCG vaccination.

To know more about Primary Complex, click here.

Single Mom

Sometimes there are reasons why women chooses to be single raising their children by themselves. But whatever the reason is, still do we understand what they've really going through? It's quite so hard to raise children by your own, financially, emotionally,socially. But how do we help them anyway? 

Single Mom Book

When I had my first child, I was by my own but not alone. Thanks to my family that I did survive with the help of my friends. And I would like to credit them the big help they've gave us.So to those single moms out there or just you knowing someone's in that shoes, just support them instead of blaming and putting them down. We'll never know whom they're carrying, maybe the future president of the Philippines.Why not?

So, to all single moms or even dads out there, I've researched about  non-government bodies to help single parents to raise their children but instead what I've found out is that our own government had all the benefits for single parents especially for their children of course considering that you are really single parents. Just visit the site to know more about the benefit.

SINGLE PARENT LAW in PHILIPPINES

Republic Act No. 8972 or the “Solo Parents’ Welfare Act of 2000”is the Philippine law on single parents. It was promulgated on November 7, 2000.

 

The law provides comprehensive program of services for solo parents and their children to be carried out by the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD), the Department of Health (DOH), the Department of Education, Culture and Sports (DECS), the Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG), the Commission on Higher Education (CHED), the Technical Education and Skills Development Authority (TESDA), the National Housing Authority (NHA), the Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE) and other related government and non-government agencies. (Sec.2, RA 8972)

To see the full version of the site, click here: Single Parent Law

Never feel sad on losing anything in your life because whenever a tree loses its leaf, a new leaf is ready to take its place.

~Anonymous 

 When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  

~Sophia Loren