VALUES EDUCATION:How to change your negative responses?

Have you ever had negative responses to your children at some time of you being a mom or a woman? 

When at times of difficultness like being stressed, getting into a hard situation, or suffering from a really deep pain and yet you still did negative responses to your children and suddenly you realize that you did was wrong? And you can't even hold it back the way you wanted and the way it should be retorted. That makes you upset, right?

I would like to share tips from the book '365 Ways to Help Your Children Grow' by Shella Ellison and Barbara Ann Barnett, Ph.D on what to do when you aren't happy on the way you reacted under a sudden unexpected situation.

1. Close your eyes and review the situation in your head, trying to see all the little details, onceyou have it clearly in your head, run the scene again, except this time change the way you act. Even though it is in your mine, it is a step toward being able to respond differently next time.

2. It is never too late to say you're sorry. A child will learn very much from this kind of modeling. You might say, " I had a very, hard day today and I am so sorry that I yelled the way I did, it had nothing to do with how you were acting. Do you forgive me?"

I hope these guides on 'how to change your negative responses would definitely helped us parents, moms, woman, and anyone on our daily lives to achieve a better and happier family we are building, foq a happy family would produce into a better individuals being responsible as each member grows in a society and become a good example for each one of us.

So, share us how did you had negative responses and how you had handled it on a well-behaved situation where you felt fine and satisfied? Feel free to share us your thoughts.

Living Together Relationships

Live-in relationships or arrangements are mostly common nowadays in which an unmarried couple lives together in a long-term relationships equally as married ones.

The question is: Do both parties knows their own rights? I was once in a situation where I am questioned being a 'wife' legally, and whew! It was like I  was blown some icy cold water. Yeah, right? I was so confident thinking that albeit the fact that we are not married, still I believe I hold the rights as a 'wife'.

But that was just I believe. It does matter that we know our rights even if we are not legally tied with our partners. So I want to share recently revised laws here in the Philippines for live-in partners or common-law marriage.

Art. 147. When a man and a woman who are capacitated to marry each other, live exclusively with each other as husband and wife without the benefit of marriage or under a void marriage, their wages and salaries shall be owned by them in equal shares and the property acquired by both of them through their work or industry shall be governed by the rules on co-ownership.

Art. 148. In cases of cohabitation not falling under the preceding Article, only the properties acquired by both of the parties through their actual joint contribution of money, property, or industry shall be owned by them in common in proportion to their respective contributions. In the absence of proof to the contrary, their contributions and corresponding shares are presumed to be equal. The same rule and presumption shall apply to joint deposits of money and evidences of credit.

To read the whole article about these laws, just click here  Common-law Marriage( Live-in Relationships)

 I would also like to share this law with regards to women and their children.

REPUBLIC ACT NO. 9262

AN ACT DEFINING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND THEIR CHILDREN, PROVIDING FOR PROTECTIVE MEASURES FOR VICTIMS, PRESCRIBING PENALTIES THEREFORE, AND FOR OTHER PURPOSES.

Sec. 3. Definition of Terms.- As used in this Act:

(e) "Dating relationship" refers to a situation wherein the parties live as husband and wife without the benefit of marriage or are romantically involved over time and on a continuing basis during the course of the relationship. A casual acquaintance or ordinary socialization between two individuals in a business or social context is not a dating relationship.

Me, My Other Half and Her

             This is a very personal experience. Although it’s quite hard for me to share but I just want everybody to see and learn how has just a woman react when an invader comes between your other half and you. I don’t intentionally disgrace or blame any person that might be in this kind of situation.

                   Last year was such a trial year for me and my family. On the mid of March, my youngest son got sick and was diagnosed having pneumonia and primary complex. It was so hard for us cause it took a month and a lot of money for us to know what exactly was the illness of my son. Anyway, that’s a different story.

                  It was June when I observed that something is happening with my other half. But I just ignore it or rather ‘justified’ it. My other half found out that he has a case(let’s just leave it as the case) filed against him aside from the fact that we’re into my son’s medication problem. So as days past, I realize that ‘something’ is happening with him. He’s changing a lot, he used to kiss me goodbye, but lately he almost forgets about it. He don’t used to get a bath everyday even when there’s a plan to go mingle with friends, but he does it almost everyday. He’s a home buddy but not anymore, he mingles with friends every night and when he’s at home we barely talk for he’s more focused on his cellphone. But it was justified by my so called ‘understanding’. But not until when I called him and it was someone who answered saying “Don’t bother calling him anymore. hahaha”. Beeps. What? I was so shocked and haven’t spoke out any word at all. So I called him again and just picked up the phone after an hour of dialling. So it was a fight. Until he got home and only a word sank into my mind;’ find an evidence’. So the next days I became a spy looking for evidences to prove ‘something’. And gotcha! The girl who annoyed and put words against me on facebook and the girl behind my other half’s changing attitude is the same.

                My world has vanished, I was betrayed. I am betrayed. Its feels numb at first but not until its sinks. And the pain goes deeper. I cried a lot, I was hurted a lot. I open the situation with him just through cellphone for I cannot spoke with him personally. Was that the right move? But that was just the right thing I thought to be the best to have conversation with him. He decided to broke up with me not thinking that we have two little boys and that we still live together in the house. Can u imagine the situation? Yes, I still do the household chores, still do my responsibilities as a mother and a wife(although we’re not married). But that was the most rainy days I have. Until the day came for me and my children to go home.

                Now, everything is turning into right places. He flew from Manila to here. And what was that? What will I do? What should I do?Sometimes, there are decisions we're not sure if it was the right thing to do. I'll just hope that the Lord God will guide me and my family for whatever my decisions would be.

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Living Together Relationships