Sweet child of mine....

May 1st is my eldest son's birthday. And I wish him to be a good person, good health and that he may be God-fearing person. 

I remember the tough times we've been through. For nine months, I carried him with me alone. His biological father was not with me along the journey for the reason of miscommunication. It was tough and hard emotionally, physically, socially and financially. But I made it, I went to clinics alone not depending with anyone else. My family suffered too. When I was in pain, I know they were in pain also. But thanks to them, I was definitely strong. They made me stronger when I was weak, made me happier when I was sad, made me feel loved when I didn't found one.

But when the day has come arrive. It was 12:15am, May 1st when I felt something was different with me, I was on my ninth month being pregnant with my first child. But not yet my due. As I went to bed, I pee with pajama which was not normal. Ignoring it, I change my clothes and went to bed again. Minutes later, the peeing happened again with more liquid than earlier. So. I decided to went to my mom's room and told her what happened to me. So, we decided to packed things and preparing to go to the maternity clinic. As my mom says that it was time. At 2:00am, she had convince me to went to sleep again. But I couldn't sleep because the pain was starting to make me uncomfortable. Minutes after minutes, the pain goes deeper and deeper. I didn't know how hours have passed without I even noticed it. 

At 6 in the morning, we decided to go the clinic. So, as the midwife whom to noticed was an American girl with blue eyes, interviewed me. She told me that I should go for a walk so that it would make me easier to give birth. Together with my mom, I went for a short walk which was really tough, hard and painful. So, I asked my mom to go back to the clinic for I cannot take it longer to walk.

We went back to the clinic and placed me to bed. They checked me again and it was 5cm. And the pain goes stronger, I even can't take it longer. They started to prepare everything. Put a plastic cellophane at my back and told me to started pushing. And I started to push without even knowing how to. I pushed a little and then some little until I can't even breath. Miss Jennifer Akins, the midwife whom noticed something is wrong with me, told me to give a major push instead of two little push. So, I pusheddddddd hard. And then pushed hard again. But it still didn't work. They taught me different styles and position. I remember there was I sit. But those position still didn't work, so I went back to the original position laying my back into bed. 

But the pushing still didn't work, and the time passed. The baby inside me is getting into danger. But not until it was when they took a mirror reflecting mine. And I saw the baby's head, I panicked thinking how would my son breath? So maybe with the help of my adrenaline, I pushed the hardest I could ever done. I couldn't even realize how I breath. 

And thank God, the baby's safe and alive. I gave birth at 10:33am May 1st 2005.